How to Approach Someone on LinkedIn

Sliding into someone's LinkedIn DMs can feel like walking a tightrope, but approaching someone new doesn’t have to be so intimidating. By shifting your mindset from What can I get? to What can I give?, you can turn cold outreach into warm relationship-building. This guide breaks down the right way to approach anyone on LinkedIn, step-by-step, from pre-connection research to what comes after.

Before You Hit 'Connect': Do Your Homework

The most common mistake people make is hitting the "Connect" button too soon. The work you do before sending a request is what separates a successful approach from one that gets instantly ignored. A thoughtful strategy shows respect for the other person's time and drastically increases your chance of getting a positive reply.

Step 1: Get Absolutely Clear on Your Goal

Why are you reaching out? "Networking" is too vague. Get specific. Are you trying to:

• Find a mentor to guide your career transition?
• Learn about the company culture at a place you want to work?
• Connect with a potential client for your freelance business?
• Build a relationship with an industry leader whose work you admire?
• Invite someone to be a guest on your podcast?

Your goal defines every word you'll write. An approach to a potential client sounds very different from one to a potential mentor. Without a clear goal, your message will lack direction and likely get lost in the noise.

Step 2: Research Them (Don't Just Scan)

Spending five minutes on someone’s profile will give you the personalized material you need to stand out. Move beyond their job title and look for genuine points of connection.

What to look for:

• Recent Activity: Check their "Posts" and "Activity" tabs. Did they just share an interesting article, comment on an industry trend, or publish a long-form piece? This is prime material for your outreach.
• Common Ground: Did you go to the same university? Are you both part of the same LinkedIn Group? Did you work at the same company, even at different times? These are easy, authentic conversation starters.
• Featured Section: People put things in their "Featured" section for a reason - they're proud of it. Whether it's a talk, a portfolio, or a personal project, mentioning it specifically shows you've paid attention.
• Recommendations: Read the recommendations they've given and received. You'll learn a lot about their professional style and what they value in others.

Step 3: Make Sure Your Own Profile is Ready

Think of your profile as the landing page for your connection request. When someone gets your request, the first thing they'll do is click on your name to see who you are. If your profile is barren, has no profile picture, or features a headline that just says "Unemployed," they have no incentive to connect.

Before you send any requests, do a quick audit:

• Professional Photo: A clear, friendly, and professional headshot is a must.
• Compelling Headline: Your headline shouldn't just be your job title. Tell people what you do and who you help. Instead of "Software Engineer," try "Software Engineer Building FinTech Solutions for Underserved Communities."
• Complete "About" Section: Use this space to tell your story. Write in the first person and show some personality while still being professional. Explain what drives you and what your areas of expertise are.
• Recent Activity: An active profile is a living one. Even if you're not a prolific content creator, share an interesting industry article every week or two. It shows you're engaged.

Crafting the Perfect Connection Request Message

Ignoring the personal note on a LinkedIn connection request is the digital equivalent of walking up to someone at a conference, handing them your business card without a word, and walking away. It’s lazy and ineffective. You only get 300 characters, so make them count.

A Simple Formula: Context + Value + The Ask

Your short message should accomplish three things:

1. Provide Context: Quickly explain why you're reaching out to them specifically. This is where your research pays off.
2. Hint at Value (or Shared Interest): Touch on what you have in common or what you admire. Let them know this isn’t a random shot in the dark.
3. Make the Simple Ask: Your only ask at this stage is to connect. Don't ask for a job, a call, or feedback. Just an invitation to join their network.

Real-World Examples: Good, Bad, and Better

Let's say you're trying to connect with a marketing director you admire.

The Bad (Generic and Instantly Ignorable):

"Hi Jane, I'd like to join your professional network on LinkedIn."

This is the default message. It shows zero effort and gives Jane zero reason to accept.

The Better (Getting Warmer but Still Vague):

"Hi Jane, I see you're a marketing director and I'm also in marketing. I'd love to connect and follow your work."

This is an improvement, but it’s still all about you ("I'd love to connect"). It lacks a specific hook.

The Best (Personalized and Effective):

"Hi Jane, I recently read your article on creating brand communities and found the point on user-generated content brilliant. Your work in that space is inspiring. Would be great to connect."

This message wins. It's concise, specific, offers genuine praise (flattery works!), and shows you've done your homework. It’s an easy "yes" for Jane.

Another Example (for a job seeker):

"Hi John, I found your career path from Project Manager to Product Lead at Acme Co. really interesting. As someone transitioning into Product myself, I’m inspired by your journey. I’d appreciate the chance to connect."

This works because it's not asking for a job. It's referencing a specific, personal aspect of their career and framing the request as one for learning and connection.

The Follow-Up: Turning a Connection into a Conversation

You did it! They accepted your request. This is where most people either freeze up or - even worse - immediately launch into a sales pitch. Patience is your greatest asset here. The goal isn't to get what you want in the next five minutes, it's to start a genuine dialogue.

The Golden Rule: Don't Pitch Immediately After Connecting

Just because you’re connected doesn’t mean you’ve earned the right to ask for something. The "connect-and-pitch" strategy is a surefire way to get ignored, blocked, or even reported. Give the new connection some breathing room.

Your First Message Post-Connection

A day or two after they accept, send a follow-up. It should be light, grateful, and lead to an actual conversation.

A good starting point:

"Thanks for connecting, Jane. I appreciate it. That article you wrote on paid search strategies two weeks ago really got me thinking, especially your point about [specific detail]. How do you see that evolving over the next year?"

This message does several things well:

• It thanks them.
• It reminds them of the context and their shared interest.
• It opens the door for a conversation by asking a simple, non-demanding question.

Engage With Their Content Organically

The best way to build a professional relationship is to behave like a respectful professional. Before you ask for an ounce of their time, give generously of your attention.

For a week or two, simply be a positive presence in their LinkedIn world:

• Like their posts. It’s a simple, low-effort way to stay on their radar.
• Leave thoughtful comments. Don’t just write "Great post!" Add to the conversation. Ask a clarifying question or offer a supporting viewpoint. For example, "This is a great point, Jane. We tried a similar approach last quarter and found [add a small piece of your own insight].".
• Share their content. If they post something genuinely useful, share it with your network and tag them.

This "Nurturing Phase" keeps you top-of-mind in a positive way. By the time you eventually make an ask, they’ll already recognize your name and associate it with thoughtful engagement.

Making the "Real" Ask

After you’ve had a brief back-and-forth in the DMs or engaged with their content a few times, you've earned the right to make a bigger ask. Keep it direct, respectful of their time, and easy to act on.

Example for an Informational Interview:

"Hi John, I've really enjoyed seeing your insights on product management here on LinkedIn. As I make my own move into the field, I’m trying to learn from experts like you. Would you be open to a brief 15-minute virtual coffee chat in the next few weeks so I could ask a couple of questions about your experience at Acme Co.?"

This script is effective because:

• You acknowledge their expertise.
• You are specific about the length ("15-minute"). This signals you won't take up too much of their time.
• You make a clear, low-pressure request.

If they say yes, be respectful and prepared. If they say no or don't respond, be gracious. A simple "No problem, thanks for considering. I'll continue to follow your work!" leaves the door open for the future.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, successfully approaching someone on LinkedIn comes down to treating it like a real, human interaction. Prepare by doing your research, lead with genuine interest and personalization, and build a relationship slowly through patient and valuable engagement. When you shift your focus from taking to giving, you'll find that networking becomes less about transactions and more about building a community you can both learn from and contribute to.

Building these connections starts with your own presence. A strong, active profile filled with your own insights and shared content provides the foundation for any outreach strategy, giving people a compelling reason to connect back. To help with this, we built Postbase, a tool designed to make managing your social content calendar simple and effective, helping you maintain a consistent and professional online presence so it's there for you when you need it most.